The Sandman says: When - like me - you're stuck in a beach hut with only a few Russian (e)mail-order brides for company, you tend to look forward to your daily emails. But for far too many of their subject lines there can only be one response. These are they.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

How to make the TV work

 
David lockley says: Sandman, I'm not about to ask you for any money... And the Sandman replies: Splendid. I wouldn't have given you any anyway.
Franklin Bender says: Be in good health My new address And the Sandman replies: I am in good health, thanks. And your address means nothing to me - old or new. Go away.
Joe Vitale says: What's the #1 thing everyone wants? And the Sandman replies: Whatever it it is, I got it.
ListJoe.com says: This Made Me So Angry....... Why? Just because I got what everyone else wants?
Psychotactics says: The Biggest Reason Why Your Website Content Drives Customers Away It's written in Kalash?
Paul Klein says: But isn't that just too easy? No - it's pretty well impossible. Kalash is a language that has no alphabet.
Amanda van der Gulik says: Sandman, last day for your child. You lay one finger on any of them and you … are … dead. Got it?
Gary Ambrose says: you awake? Course I am - someone's been threatening my children.
 
Adriana Cahill says: Job position Yeah, I tried it before when I used to do that sort of thing for a living. Put me in traction for weeks.
ListJoe.com says: Hi Sandman Keep your Blood Sugar in Balance It's not the sugar, it's the caffeine. A couple of buckets of Long Island Iced Tea seems to do the trick, though.
Jason Katzenback says: I paid $1997, today it's yours free A *real* '63 VW Beetle? You beauty, you!
TrafficStarterSecrets says: Sandman, you have to get this right Sure do. Otherwise you're in traction for weeks.
FireballNews.com says: Sandman - seen this brand new TV commercial? No. My TV's rather old and we've all got better things to do than watch it.
James J Jones says: Sandman, important... What? That switch on the side of the TV? You mean we flick it … and then watch moving pictures? Cool!
Paul Bauer says: the toughest question? Why the hell didn't we think of that before? Answer: Too busy.
Adrian Law says: Please Read This Oh - you found the TV manual. Excellent! Now ... what's this long cable with a plug on the end for?
Keith Wellman says: I don't think you heard me right... Probably not. This plug thing keeps making holes in the walls.
* Justin Blake * says: ... Secret I need a socket to put it in?
Profit Snapshots says: What's goin on? Someone told me I should push this plug thing into the wall. Never mentioned a socket, though.
FireballNews.com says: I've got good news for you... You found a socket? Cool! Where?
Keith Wellman says: sorry :-( Oh. So that wasn't a socket.
Maria Gudelis says: So I May have damaged my credibility Damn right you did. And my beach hut wall.
John Wood says: Be On The Lookout For This Is this what a socket looks like, then?
Bonnie Hazlett says: No more lies between us.... So it's not. OK. Let's start again.
Lynn Pierce says: Sandman, did you see this? Yes. I believe it looks like an electricity socket I can plug the TV into so we can all watch it,
Odinn Sorensen says: stranger video Actually, I was looking to make the TV work first.
Frank Dang says: Sandman, You Are Too Late? To install electricity in this here beach hut? Looks like it.
Chuck Abbott says: this is outrageous What? Hooking up a line to someone else's power supply? Sounds good to me!
Nick Ortner from The Tapping World Summit says: A Bit Controversial... Yeah, but I'll let them come over and watch my TV. And maybe share a bucket or two of Long Island Iced Tea.
Don Shults says: Questions Sandman? Yup - where's the nearest power supply? This is a *beach*, remember.
Gary Baker says: My Apologies Sandman. I should think so, too. It's six miles to the nearest power cable And this wire attached to the TV ain't nowhere near long enough.
Joe Vitale says: New: How to Get Back On Your Feet I just get some of my Perfect Russian Wives to lift me back up again.
Joe Vitale says: 3 Steps to Freedom But many more than that to my bedroom. Sometimes they have to carry me.
Help More People says: Sandman, do you know why? Because it's quite far down the hall, that's why.
Eric's Tips says: Any questions Sandman? Yes. Is there such a thing as a battery-operated TV?
Steve G. Jones, Ed.S. says: Sandman, A great 1-minute fatloss tip Hook up one end of a generator to the big tv, the other to an exercise cycle, pedal like crazy for one commercial and collapse afterwards?
Eben Pagan says: 59 Minutes... 59? Fifty-nine? That's almost a whole documentary! That'd kill me!
Paul Klein says: Is this too good to be true? What - expiring just before the end of the Discovery Channel's "Ducks Of The Kalahari"? I don't think so.
Clayton Makepeace says: A Sure-Fire Key to Success ... Aha! An exercise motorcycle!
Robert Ringer says: Master the Essentials ... In neutral? Check. Ignition on? Check. Engine start? Check. Generator connected? Check. TV on. And … yes! Ducks Of The Kalahari - all the way through! Can't hear a thing with this engine going, though.
Roger Haeske says: Speedy Gonzales Lazy Tip to Greek God-ess Body Switch off the exercise motorcycle and start pedaling? No way, Jose.
Eric Farewell says: Serious Question... (time sensitive) Serious answer: go away, I'm watching the Discovery Channel.
ListJoe.com says: ................... Just ONE Question . ONE ... No, I said I was watching TV. Go away.
Hawaii.com Membership says: Best Things To Do in Hawaii! Oh, hey … I'm doing them all here at home already.
ListJoe.com says: Ooops! There must be a mistake! No, really - everything I can do in Hawaii, I can do here at home in my beach hut. Probably more.
Dan says: I have a confession... There *is* an electricity socket here after all? Gee, thanks.
Apart from one or two electric and exercise-related hiccups, the Sandman sounds very happy with his life. Click here to discover how to become very happy with yours. Instantly. Automatically. Guaranteed.  

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